no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
