just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
