Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
"it" just moved
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
