I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
