thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize