you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
