I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
