you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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