i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize