she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
