If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
