New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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