His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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