everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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