Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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