If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
