I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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