can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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