Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
