I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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