Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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