batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
