dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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