Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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