I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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