Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How does one acquire holy water?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
