Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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