I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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