also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
