I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
