found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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