i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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