I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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