I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
