Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
