Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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