id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i believe in u and ur pee
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
