Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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