I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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