I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
