the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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