I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
