Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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