Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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