just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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