problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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