my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
