He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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