That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
