I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
