Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
