actually, I'm a sock model
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
