so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
