I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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