Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Alive.
So much puke
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My vagina just clenched in fear
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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