sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
