am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
