HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
