So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize