Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
