I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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