Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
