I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
