my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
high people should be assigned attendants
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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