Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
