Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.