is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
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Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend