Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
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Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
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I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.