dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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