Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.